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Happy days: How Bolton came back from the brink

After walking away from the game, the experienced Perth Scorchers allrounder explains how she rediscovered her love for cricket, how she is coping in the Sydney village and addresses her chances of representing Australia again

Nicole Bolton has quickly formed a morning routine in the WBBL Village in Sydney. 

Rising early, the Perth Scorchers allrounder visits the breakfast buffet as soon as it opens, while the twin hotels housing the players and staff from all eight teams are still sleepy and deserted. 

Then, she attends the regular morning yoga session with a couple of her Perth Scorchers teammates; it is critical to her ability to switch her mind off cricket, and the only time of day she feels completely present with her body.  

The nature of the Sydney Olympic Park hub, with more than 250 people in an enclosed space, is enough to rattle even the biggest extroverts. 

Bolton is friendly, funny and enjoys company, but the 30-year-old also needs her space. 

It is the reason why she is determined to keep her daily routine simple and as close to life back home as possible – although the marshes of Homebush are a poor replacement for the coastal walks she would take in Perth. 

 

Image Id: 583CB8344670468AAB7FD521D8859C32 Image Caption: Bolton at the crease for Perth Scorchers in WBBL|06 // Getty

 

"If you’d asked me (how I was travelling) in the first week here, I was ready to walk in and walk straight back out, if I’m honest," Bolton laughed when speaking to cricket.com.au.  

"It was so overwhelming, just to see everyone here and after being back home in Perth where life’s been pretty normal, coming here and having restrictions was going to be a challenge. 

"In that first week there was a little bit of high anxiety, you don’t want to walk into the dining room alone, do you?  

"But there’s a lot of my good mates from other clubs who I haven’t seen for a long time … it has been fantastic to be able to catch up with them and see what they’ve been up to." 

After two of the most testing years of her life, that saw Bolton walk away from cricket, and then make an unsuccessful return to the international game, the Western Australian has settled into a new role with a fresh outlook. 

For the first time in a long time, Bolton is not trying to prove a point to everyone. 

*** 

A lock at the top of the order of Australia’s one-day team for years, Bolton shocked many when she announced she was walking away from the game midway through the 2018-19 WBBL season. 

She has since spoken expansively on the build-up to that moment that left her physically and mentally burnt out, and with no choice but to step away. 

Bolton opens up about mental health struggle

After an extended break, Bolton announced herself available for selection for Australia’s 2019 Ashes tour of the United Kingdom and the stage was set for a fairytale return to the highest level. 

But, as she would soon be reminded, things do not always go to script. 

Opening the batting for her country in four innings across three ODIs and one Test, Bolton hit a total of 13 runs. 

She withdrew herself from consideration for the subsequent tour of the West Indies, unsure of what her future in cricket looked like, or indeed, if she had a future at all. 

"I was just thinking, I think my career is done," Bolton said.  

"You have time away and you come back and you think you’re just going to pick up where you left off. 

"I think I was pretty naïve to think I was just going to be that player I was when I left. 

"The game is forever evolving and I put a lot of internal pressure on myself … I look back on that experience and it wasn’t enjoyable, because I just put so much pressure on myself." 

It was a trend, Bolton realised, that had followed her throughout her five years wearing the green and gold. 

During an international career that had started with a century on debut at the MCG, included Ashes and World Cup wins and had taken her to far-flung parts of the world, she had never been able to simply be in the moment. 

"I put so much internal pressure on myself … I would never stop and smell the roses, and sit back and think about how amazing it was to be with that group and with that team," Bolton reflected.

"Over the years, that impacts you, and you second guess yourself a lot."

Looking back now, almost 18 months since the last time she played for Australia, she has no regrets around how things played out.

"I’m forever grateful I was given that opportunity to play in another Ashes," she continued.

"I don’t know what’s left in me to play for Australia (again) if I’m honest, but I’ll never stop trying to be the best player I can be.

"If that means that was the last series, I would be really stoked with the career I’ve had."

***

‘Being the best player I can be’ means something different to Bolton now.

After returning home from the United Kingdom in early August 2019, it took some time for her to recalibrate and find renewed purpose.

It was her beloved Western Australia that provided the answer, in a summer that culminated in an event Bolton had never dreamt possible.

"Leading into the (domestic 50-over) WNCL I was feeling a bit unsure of myself," she said. 

"I just really stripped it back and remembered why I started playing cricket. 

"Taking away that stress of playing for Australia and just focusing on myself was a hard thing to do … I didn’t have a great Big Bash but I started to see the benefits towards the back end of the (WNCL) season." 

It is difficult to overstate just how big a deal it is for a state other than New South Wales to win the WNCL.

In 24 seasons, the Breakers – who historically boast a fair portion of the Australian team in their best XI – have claimed the coveted Ruth Preddy Trophy on 20 occasions. Prior to the 2019-20 season, Western Australia had never won it.

That changed on February 16 of this year, when WA overcome NSW to take out the final at North Sydney Oval by 42 runs.

Leading their successful charge was Bolton, who top-scored with 67 and finished the season as the league's leading run-scorer, striking 436 runs at 48.44, and was fittingly named the player of the tournament.

 

Image Id: B27ECFBCCD5746D0AD90AEDC3D1FDCD9 Image Caption: Bolton rediscovered her love for cricket after WA's WNCL triumph in February // AAP

 

"When I was 15 and playing for WA, I never dreamt I’d win the title with them," she explained.

"That kickstarted my love for cricket again. 

"Spending that time at home and with the WA set-up, it is probably going to prolong my career a bit."

An accumulator rather than a blaster, Bolton was long fixated on trying to prove she could score as quickly as the leading stars of Australia’s T20 team. She wanted to be Meg Lanning, thought she needed to be Alyssa Healy. Not anymore.

"It can be really debilitating but I think now I’m really comfortable with who I am as a cricketer," Bolton said.

"I was always searching to be someone else. 

"Stripping it back to that has helped me be more comfortable with myself as a player.

"My focus is a little bit different now when I play, I’m not playing to get selected, I’m playing games for the team I’m representing."

After years at the top of the order, Bolton now occupies a spot in the middle-order at the Scorchers behind a powerhouse top three of Sophie Devine, Beth Mooney and Amy Jones.

She has also developed her off-spin to the point where she is routinely called upon in the powerplay overs; having dual roles to play with both bat and ball has helped take the pressure off when she is dismissed cheaply.

"My role is to tick it along and make solid partnerships, and then try to expand if I’ve invested enough time into my innings," she said.

"I’m really comfortable with where my game is at, I’ve spent a lot of time at home working hard in that space to have confidence that in this format, no matter what the situation is, I know I can win a game for the Scorchers.

"I think if I was speaking to younger players and I could give them any advice. it would be to just be really comfortable with who you are as a player."

***

Off-field, Bolton is undertaking a level two coaching course and is relishing the chance to assist with strength and conditioning work at her local club in Perth, Subiaco-Floreat. 

Helping others has helped provide balance and perspective, while she is also considering further study in health and sports science.

When it comes to giving advice to younger players about owning their unique abilities, Bolton believes she has the perfect example to point to in her new Perth teammate Mooney.

"I remember when I first played against Beth at the WACA and you could literally set a field to her, it’d be Mooney’s paddock, it’d be behind square and, she could not score in front of the wicket," Bolton said of her former Australia teammate and the world’s top-ranked T20I batter.

"There’s a player who over the last six years has taken her game to another level. 

"She hasn’t (changed herself) but she’s gotten better at what she does and she’s expanded her game. 

"She is a bloody beacon for young girls coming through, looking at how she’s attacked her cricket and how she’s going now, it’s unbelievable to see someone develop like that and she’s worked bloody hard to get there she is as well."

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Bolton played a key role in luring close mate Mooney across from the Brisbane Heat, and is grateful for her fellow left-hander’s company in what can be, at times, a pressure-cooker environment in the Sydney Olympic Park hub.

"Moons has been there a lot for me over the last few years and even not being in the Australian squad, she’s always someone who checks in on me," Bolton continued.

"Having her here in an environment like this, she is that person you can rely on and hit up when things aren’t going great.

"She brings so much more than just her cricket ability."

The company of Mooney, her Scorchers teammates and friends from other clubs is also helping Bolton change unhealthy habits of the past – and inadvertently, the nature of the hub may just be assisting too.

It is all about striking a balance between sticking to the healthy routines and shedding those best left in the past.

"Normally for me, if things start to not go so well on the field I start to retreat and spend more time in my room," she said.

"These days I’m trying to force myself to get out of that headspace and interact with people. 

"That’s been a learning curve over the past year but it’s something that’s been working well in the hub."