A look back at what - and who - helped make another memorable Border-Gavaskar series
Award winners of the 2014-15 Test summer
Another summer of Test cricket in Australia has been put to bed, with the home team once more submitting a blemish-free scorecard.
With Australia’s most recent Test defeat on home soil now stretching back to Ricky Ponting’s playing days, the sight of our lads celebrating match and series wins here have become almost as commonplace as Ashes campaigns (relax – there’s another one coming in June).
But the dawning of a new year signals more than the arrival of wall-to-wall white-ball cricket that this summer includes the quadrennial ICC World Cup. Which Australia has never won on its own turf.
It also heralds the imminent awards season, so what better excuse to fuse all these elements into a gratuitous show reel of the Test series’ most celebrated moments that a more creative director might be tempted to title “In Case You Don’t Know What Happened This Summer”.
Here’s a rundown of nominal gongs – and their alternate nominees – that might help recap.
Best Comeback
Michael Clarke (Australia): Hampered by a hamstring injury heading into an Adelaide Test that circumstances demanded he not countenance missing, Clarke’s back gave out as he evaded a bouncer and he left the field moving like a World War Two Veteran in an ANZAC March.
But in an innings that should be recognised at Lourdes as well as Lord’s, the skipper returned next day clad in some sort of galvanised iron girdle and willed himself to a century, before the hamstring ultimately snapped and he spent the remainder of the series convalescing in a hyperbaric chamber (aka a commentary box).
Michael Clarke makes the most emotional hundred of his career
Other nominees – Suresh Raina (India): Banished from Test cricket after posting a 10-ball duck against New Zealand in 2012, Raina returned with hopes of rekindling his career. Only to record a first-baller on a pitch that others were salivating over on the first couple of days. Followed by a third-baller today. Automatically ruled ineligible.
Sledge Hammer (Sydney) – Not the sledge that was spoken about most of the summer, but one of marginally more subtlety. The hefty utensil brought out regularly on the series’ last day to pound the stope-like footmarks in the pitch was the most regular appearance of a Mallett at the SCG since Ashley played his final Test there in 1976.
Best New Artist
Steve Smith (Australia): Although technically not a new artist given he’s been an international cricketer for about five years, the best awards have rubbery criteria. And because he was the dominant player in his first run as captain, he simply had to win something other than kudos, the Border-Gavaskar Trophy, Player of the Series and the obligatory ‘next Bradman’ title.
Smith’s record 769 runs at 128 helped mask the disappointment that his 0-4 in Brisbane represented the worst figures by an Australian bowling leg-spin on his captaincy debut since Bob Simpson’s 0-31 against South Africa in Melbourne the year the Beatles came to Australia.
Smith celebrates reaching three figures in Brisbane
Other nominees – KL Rahul (India): Would have polled strongly but for his self-deprecatory admission that his debut in Melbourne was a “nightmare” and that his subsequent century in Sydney brought him more relief than pride.
Josh Hazlewood (Australia): With five wickets on debut in Brisbane despite cramping in every muscle, he was the obvious choice – but he hails from Australia’s country music capital (Tamworth) and they already have their own awards.
Best Cameo in an Action Adventure
Mitchell Johnson (Australia): Had failed to exude his usual level of menace until Kohli and teammate Rohit Sharma stirred him into character with a few misplaced barbs when he went out to bat in Brisbane. In a scene reminiscent of an all-in food fight from Hollywood’s golden days, the tourists were left to plunge hands in pockets and kick the ground with eyes downcast as the enlivened Australian helped himself to 88 runs from 93 balls and his team back on track to a two-nil series lead. And then he came out and bowled.
Johnson made a brutal 88 in Brisbane
Other nominee – Joe Burns (Australia): His debut in the Boxing Day Test – while not quite of KL Rahuk-like forgettable-ness – was not the triumph he and many others had hoped. And like Rahul, he endured the pain of a dropped catch next match to add to his unease. But freed from convention by his team’s chase for quick runs on the penultimate evening in Sydney, Burns played the sort of innings not seen by an Australia Test No.6 since … well, since George Bailey in Perth last year. Probably best not to dwell any further.
Joe Burns blasted 66 from just 39 balls in Sydney
Best Comedy Performance
MS Dhoni (India): Absent from the first Test and gone by the last, the Indian captain for half the series made his mark with a couple of memorable media conferences. Like the one in Brisbane where he put claims of unrest within the Indian dressing room in context by pointing out it was “not like a ‘typhoon coming’ sort of unrest”.
At his next outing he flat-batted a speculative question about the seriousness of the reported spat between Virat Kohli and teammate Shikhar Dhawan with “Virat used a knife. He stabbed Shikhar … these are all stories. Marvel, maybe Warner Brothers or somebody should pick up this and make a nice a movie out of it”.
And in his final one he mused as to whether he should provide “a spicy one or …. a very sober answer” before describing his eventual choice as “a very Aussie answer”. The only topic he forgot to raise among the captivated media pack was his plans to immediately end the most successful career of an India Test captain mid-tour. Talk about a laugh.
Other nominee – David Warner (Australia): Having counselled players from both teams to show a bit of restraint and not deliver inflammatory “send-offs” to batsmen leaving the field – even though he had been fined in Adelaide for delivering one as he was coming back on to the field – Warner summed up that contribution with: “I think all of us can take a message from me - which is a surprise.”
But he was immediately ruled ineligible for laughing at his own gag.
Best Mystery Ball
Shane Warne (Nine Network): Who else? But even by his own sorcerial standards, Warney’s ability to get one delivery to spin multiple ways was something to behold. In commentary during the Brisbane Test he took aim at Mitchell Starc, claiming: “He has to change his body language, it needs to be stronger - he looks a bit soft. He needs to puff his chest out a bit, look harder."
When these comments were picked up by other media outlets, Warne immediately shifted his focus and railed that he had been misconstrued and his context scrambled. But when Starc then responded with a withering bowling spell in the Big Bash League that paved his way back into the Test XI for the final match, Warne took to social media to accept his share of the credit.
“My pleasure for firing u up,” he tweeted.
Starc’s response is still awaiting classification from the censorship board.
Other nominee – Shaun Marsh (Australia): Not one from his hand, but the one that left his bat at the MCG and then seemed to vanish from his view into a haze of adrenaline … until it somehow reappeared at the bowler’s end stumps with Marsh’s bat those few agonising centimetres that separate a century from a prolonged period of self-examination. Just where he thought it had gone remains unanswered.
Marsh fell agonisingly short of a Test hundred
Best Act of Gamesmanship
Virat Kohli (India): In such a luridly luminescent field, the Indian skipper cum stirrer was a stand-out leader despite some brazen efforts to unseat him by various Australians at various stages. Due to the iron-clad covenant of ‘what happens out there stays out there’, none of what he is nominated for can be detailed. But eyewitness reports speak volumes.
Even before the Test series started, India warmed up with a pair of two-day games against young, aspiring Australians, most of whom are still in their teens. One of those was Harry Nielsen, the school-aged son of former Australia coach Tim Nielsen, who enjoyed making a few runs batting at the bottom of order. Upon getting home that evening he was asked by his parents how he had enjoyed the experience and all he could say – while still beaming and even though he had no idea what had been shouted at him – was: “I got sledged by Virat Kohli”.
Other nominee: The Australian Players (Australia): Rather like tennis, sledging is not hugely competitive unless there are two parties involved. And as he would doubtless gush in any acceptance speech, Kohli could not have won the prize above on his own. In a rare insight into what happens out there, Kohli revealed that during the Melbourne Test the Australians accused him repeatedly and heatedly of being “a spoiled brat”. Which immediately cruelled their chances due to a lack of creative and caustic merit.
Kohli discusses his verbal battles with the Australians
Best New Tradition
The Blazer Presentation (Australia): Unveiled as Steve Smith formally stepped into Michael Clarke’s shoes – albeit on a loan basis – prior to the second Test in Brisbane. The formal handover of the heavy woollen coat on a steamy sub-tropical morning that saw bowlers drop like dress standards as the day wore on meant more than eyes were streaming during the ceremony. Plans for similarly sombre handing over of a decorated drink bottle to a debutant 12th man or a commemorative can of magic spray to a new team physio are reportedly being workshopped with stakeholders.
Mark Taylor presents Steve Smith with his captain's blazer
Other nominee – Spidercam (affiliation unclear): Its spectacularly successful functionality in bringing viewers on to the field hit a snag when it carried them unwittingly into the game, rendered an accidental participant rather than a silent witness as Smith shouted at it during the final Test. While quickly absolved of any wrongdoing by all parties, the chastened device spent much of the game’s remainder far removed from the action - not unlike a scolded puppy at meal time – and occupying a vantage point more usually reserved for Google Earth.
Steve Smith spills KL Rahul, and blames interference from Spidercam
Man of the Summer
Phillip Hughes (Australia): Baggy Green No.408. Unbeaten on 63. Rest in Peace.